This should definitely be fiction

Here's what happened: it's 7pm, and I'm in the middle of doing stocktake for my old job - my last ever shift. I've been at the fancy new job for a little over two weeks now. Not only is it waaaaaay better pay, but it's a much better atmosphere, and came in good timing, because my old job is closing on the 2nd of July. Myself, the old assistant manager, and one of the other casuals were all able to find new work pretty quickly. My old manager, poor thing, is still looking.

Back to the weirdness: so I'm scanning, pushing stock around, and my mobile phone rings. I pull it out of my pocket and check the screen. It's a number I don't know, so I hit "busy" and figure I'll look into it later. It starts ringing again. I think, "what the hell?" and I pick it up.

"Hello, this is Jade."
"Um, hi. I have your resume here, are you still looking for a casual job?"
(I'm thinking: huh?)
"Er, I actually accepted a position about three weeks ago."
"Oh... what a shame... missed out..."
(Pause)
"Who is this?"
"Oh, it's mumblemumble*."
"... and where are you calling from?"
"Some Random Boutique**."
(I'm thinking: um, er, come on brain, work... ohhh. I dropped my resume off there before I got my new job. That makes it about three and a half weeks ago. Uh-huh)
"Well, I am on uni holidays at the moment, but after July I'll only be available one day a week, between classes and my current job."
"Oh, well, that would actually work for me."
(Pause)
"What days would you be needing someone?"
"Thursdays, or Saturdays."
(Pause)
"Um, do you want me to come in for an interview?"
"Yeah, that'd be good! When are you free?"


Really, is three weeks an acceptable time lapse for a potential employer making first contact with a potential employee? Isn't that a bit, well, rude? And her phone manner was absolutely awful! If she's that bad on the phone, how does she deal with people in person? What about CUSTOMERS? Won't somebody think of the customers?

Sorry, it's late, and it's a proven fact that my wittiness deteriorates when I'm tired.

My thoughts on this mini-mystery:

• My resume got 'lost' in a drawer and was just 'found'.
• They're desperate for staff.
• They got a new staff member, who turned out to be supremely awful (that happened at my old job, twice) and were consequently fobbed off. Now they're sorting through the other resumes.
• The manager was sick and the shop has been in chaos for three weeks whilst they ran on minimal staff (that happened at my old job, except it was that the assistant manager quit and head office didn't manage to find a replacement in the two months notice she gave them, and then manager had to take a week off because her family were visiting from overseas).
• They're really desperate for staff.
• I probably don't want this job, but I probably won't need to turn it down since I know nothing about the labels they carry (Good Stuff? Jane Peacock? Autonomy for guys? Are these ACTUAL brand names? I think some serious Googling is in order here)
• ^ that's exactly what I thought about my last interview, and I got the job, and I'm loving it.
• They're really, REALLY desperate for staff.

Obviously, I'm going in for the interview, which means I'll need to re-print (and update) my resume, iron some respectable-but-not-too-bland clothing, and do some reasearch (who calls a clothing label 'Good Stuff'? I can imagine some hilarious, but confusing conversations coming out of that one, such as, "I love you jacket, what is it?" "Good Stuff!" "...?"). If I do get the job, and it sucks, I figure I'll just ride it out for the remaining month and a half of uni holidays, and then tell them I don't have the time for two jobs during semester. If I like it, I'll figure something out. If I don't get it, problem solvered!

Some actual-proper blog posts all lined up, just thought it was too funny not to share.


* she did say her name, but it was something fairly common like Linda, Caroline or Louise and I can't for the life of me remember. I was a bit distracted at the time!
** not the actual shop name, although that would be funny and kinda cool.