My honesty policy

I can't tell you how many times I've heard or read, somewhere, a female saying that she gets along better with men, or has more male friends, or finds it hard to relate to/get along with/get close to other women. In my early teens I was definitely guilty of this, after having been forcibly ejected from my female social group. And for what? Brutal honesty. One of the girls was being a total bitch to everyone else (as insecure twelve-year-olds with ridiculously turbulent homelives are wont to do) and I called her out on it. Three days later my other friends said, "Yeah, you upset her, we're sort of on her side because you were so mean, even though we agreed with you". As a pre-teen, this lack of a social network caused me extreme amounts of anxiety. I didn't want to go to school in the mornings, something perplexing in the extreme to my parents, as I was a fierce academic. I ended up moving schools a few months later.

Girls are creatures of criminal subtlety. We dance around what we think, what we feel, and what we expect. We do it in our relationships with men, both romantic and platonic, and we do it in our relationships with each other, both romantic and platonic. Is it stupid? Yep. Is it a symptom of social conditioning? Yep!

One major problem, I think, is this: girls, women, ladies are expected to be obtuse, over-polite, and to double-talk, which when negative emotions are involved, leads to being snide and implying not-so-nice things. On the other hand, women who take a more 'male' approach, who are blunt, who say what they think and demand such in return, are regarded with suspicion and bemusement. Words like 'bitch', 'butch', and 'dyke' get thrown around a lot. Why do you have to be masculine, or attracted to women, to be able to be honest?! Shame on society for making 'female' and 'honest' oxymorons!

I'm tired of getting tangled in misunderstandings. Especially those of my own creation. White lies are still lies - yes, there is a difference between being honest and saying truthful, yet nasty things. But you can be truthful and still be diplomatic.

I'm taking a dual-action honesty policy: saying what I mean, and calling out other people when it's obvious that they're not. When did we all start needing to be politicians to function socially? All its doing is harming our relationships with others, something that we as humans rely on. We are social creatures, not going into the balances between introved/extroverted personalities. When spending time with our 'friends' is a minefield of cryptic comments, hiding your emotions and holding grudges, I have to say:

 image taken from the super-awesome site I Can Haz Cheezburger.