Monday, August 8, 2011

I just don't GET it.

Some of the things I have read the last few days have been truly awful.

I'm still reeling from the fact that Jasmine of High Voltage Cosmetics, someone who I have spoken to and bought from several times and liked on a personal level, has revealed to have 1) had less than stellar customer service (I myself have received all my packages late, and in fact am still waiting on one), 2) has sold some extremely inconsistent products (none of my lip products from her were ever in 'great' condition), 3) has possibly fudged her ingredients lists, 4) has repeatedly told lies about her personal life to many, many people (myself included).

A group was formed on Facebook to discuss some of the issues and inconsistencies. From there, I have seen  so much ugliness come out of the make-up and blogging community. Far beyond snark, people have said some really horrible things - people that I respected and considered friends have insulted, harangued and belittled others. Some misunderstandings were blown way out of proportion. Apologies were made and completely ignored. People who I expected so much better from have stayed silent whilst more and more rude and snide comments are made and it just really, really upsets me.

All I can think is who's next? Who will the next unfortunate soul be to say the wrong thing and be attacked for it?

I no longer feel safe as a blogger. I don't want to take sides, name names or point the finger because I don't want to be next. I don't want to quit blogging, quit reviewing or even worse, start censoring myself, but at this stage I just don't know what the best course of action is.

I understand that people have been hurt by Jasmine - I was nearly late for work because I was in the Twitter chat where all the issues came to light. But why did people have to start turning on each other after that?


  1. people get almightily defensive when it turns out they're wrong. I never bought from jasmine, but I did the descriptive writing for her most recent lip whips (I was online, she was struggling with it, I thought what the hell) and even I feel a bit put out that I put time into something that was ultimately flaky. I didn't even buy anything from her.

    It's mass hysteria. people have blown it out of proportion, others have gotten completely wound up about it and didn't need to - it's a mess.

  2. *hangs head*
    I'm sorry you feel like this! But I really liked this blog post, Jade, seriously, and I give you major props. You're pretty much spot on. No one expects you to take a side and if they do, sod off.

  3. *gets down on one knee*


  4. Suzanne: I think you're right :(

    Cydonian: I figured doing my own blog post would be a bit safer than posting in the group. Emotions are running way high, I get that, but at some point you gotta take a breath and sort things out.

    Silhoette: I was just gonna write "PLZ U GUIS LET'S JUST ALL B FWENDS OKAY" but I figured that wouldn't be very constructive.

  5. Sometimes things need to be said, but they should never be said in malice, even if they aren't positive. People aren't perfect but the moment you slip up there are those people who will critcize you for it. You can't live to please those people. So say what you need to say.

  6. Jade, I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry anyone feels that way. It was an issue between two people that would have been best handled between those two people. I still think people should read it for themselves and make their own determination. It's all there, intact, except for one screenshot that was removed by request, edited for privacy, and then reposted.

    I hope everyone can simply move past it and find a way to work together. And just so it is clear I still support each and every person or company I supported a week ago, save for High Voltage.

    Oh, and I'll say it: PLZ U GUIS LET'S JUST ALL B FWENDS OKAY!

  7. I say this with utmost sincerity and with no malice whatsoever: the best way to avoid being "next" is to not make posts like this. You only get swept up in drama if you allow yourself to be by participating. If you don't want to be part of it, then don't post about it, don't join the group, and just let the whole thing go.

    It's the internet, and people are hurt, and they're going to say hurtful things. Unless those things are directed at you or someone close to you, you shouldn't be wounded by the mere idea of them being said. Yes, the argument is stupid and it's high time everyone got over it (it shouldn't even have started in the first place) but every single person who posts about it just perpetuates it.

    The easiest way not to get chewed up by the machine is not to be a cog in it. Posts which say you're sitting on the fence and wish everyone would get along aren't really saying anything, and are just drawing unnecessary attention to you.

  8. It was an issue between two people until people started throwing snide comments around. That's what REALLY got me, people jumping in and being SO RUDE even though it had nothing to do with them. Then people started taking to Twitter and being even MORE rude. "Stop perpetuating the drama", people say. Well, who's going to start?

  9. Ana: sorry if you thing I'm perpetuating 'the dramz' by posting about it. Unfortunately I'm not the kind of person who can sit by whilst people I considered my friends tear each other down.

    Ignoring things is not constructive in my book.

  10. It was an issue between two people until one of those two people started talking about it on a public forum. Now it's a public issue.

    I don't quite understand this:
    "Stop perpetuating the drama", people say. Well, who's going to start?

    You expressed that you didn't like the drama and were afraid you'd be part of it. Like I said, all you have to do to NOT be part of it is to NOT BE A PART OF IT. You can start. It doesn't matter if everyone else follows suit. You won't be involved, it won't affect you.

    Someone else chose to make the issue public. You have the power not to acknowledge it. Aren't you jumping in right now even though it has nothing to do with you? Not that you're being rude (you're very polite) but that doesn't seem to be the point.

  11. Sorry to spam you, I thought your first response was directed at me and didn't see the one with my name on it.

    "Unfortunately I'm not the kind of person who can sit by whilst people I considered my friends tear each other down."

    Don't you see that, this is precisely what everyone on either side of those 2 people is doing? The people on one side are defending person A because they don't like to see her attacked, the people on the other side are defending person B because they don't like seeing HER attacked. You seem to be defending everyone because you don't like the idea of people fighting.

    It does suck, I grant you, but people are going to fight. The more people who get involved, the bigger and nastier and snarlier the snowball becomes. If you allow yourself to be hurt by the idea of people you like fighting online, then the internet will make your head explode.

    If everyone apart from the two people involved shut up about it, maybe they'd sort it out, or alternatively just decide to dislike one another but keep that to themselves. Bringing other people into the dispute isn't constructive in my book, unless that person is a relationship counsellor.

  12. Jade, a lot of the people involved in that group are just suffering from mob mentality. They think that people have to be on either their side or the other, even when you're not on a 'side' at all. Heck, I didn't even know there were sides. It's probably best just to leave the group. I think you'll feel better if you do, but that's up to you of course.

  13. Jade, I'm sorry you inexplicably got dragged into this. You don't deserve this and I don't understand why you got brought into it in the first place. :(
    As Frances said, everything in the facebook group is intact and is the truth; at least, as far as the "she said she said" stuff goes. I do hope you and everyone else who's really only heard the one side of this story will take the time to investigate this a bit further so you can get a better idea of what really happened. And then maybe you can come up with some ideas on how best to put it to rest because quite frankly, it's ridiculous that it's still going on.

    Please don't worry though- I can't imagine anyone attacking you <3

  14. It's quite silly to me... That while we all love makeup, and it's a common thread that binds us and allows us to become friends... But when something goes wrong or the proverbial shit hits the fan- people take sides.

    Yes, emotions are high, yes a lot of mean things have been said, and some apologies were made. I see and understand BOTH sides of what has happened.... And what Jas has done is unbelievable.
    BUT, it's no excuse for the name calling and finger pointing that's been going on.

  15. I agree, I myself wanted to see exactly what was going on so joined the facebook group. I mainly joined to see exactly what the issues with HV cosmetics were. If it was product issues I wanted to be informed as HV does have good quality products from my experience. However I personally wanted nothing to do with all the mudslinging that has gone on since. Yes she lied, it happens. Everybody lies but the amount of drama this has stirred up! You keep blogging however! You do a great job and your opinion is important, keep up the good job! Love from another blogger in the community!

  16. I totally see what you're saying. It kind of scares me that anyone with internet access who doesn't like you for whatever reason could air private things about you. I think we all need to be more respectful of one another!


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